Always Doesn't Last Forever
by HetShah
Summary: Jade is falling apart. After her break up with Beck she can trust no one. But when a secret is opened as much as Jade tries to hold it in and stay strong the more she breaks into pieces. How long can Jade stay before she is broken? Bade...
1. Preface

**Hiii**

**So this is my first Fanfic!**

**I wrote this time ago but I wanted to post this on my birthday so here it is!Just remember I'm only 13 i was around 11 and a half when I wrote this!**

**I really hope you like! This story means a lot to me!**

**Please review they would make me really happy!**

**xoxo**

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Hidden

Preface

Trina's POV

In my hands was the destiny of Jade. But I don't get it. Jade and... No. But this in my hands is true.. Jade from all the people I know has... Jade West the toughest, meanest, rudest girl in the world can't...But it's factual. I have all the evidence but it all seem so surreal. Jade has... No... It's impossible... I just can't believe Jade has...Cancer

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**Sorry I know it's short but it's only the preface I only wrote this much as I was busy with my exams and It was only an idea! I starting to write more but I will try to post it after about 5 reviews!**

**Please Review They Make Me Smile Especially On My Birthday!**

**xxx**


	2. Lost

**Hii People!**

**Sorry if my updates are slow but I have my reasons! I am in catastrophic position I just found out I under achieved in my music assessment and my gran is also ill. Plus I am moving house so I didn't have access to my laptop for 4 days and had not TV for 5 days! Anyway so here is the next bit sorry if it seems rushed or is confusing! I am extremely sorry about it!**

**Please Review! They make me smile!**

**Love you all!**

**xoxo**

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Trina's POV

"Hey guys have you seen Jade. I don't see her now often at lunch." I asked with a hint of apprehension. It wasn't like she wasn't capable of handling herself but lately because of her disease I just can't help being awfully concerned. Furthermore she herself has no indication about it. '_Maybe it was time' _I thought. I have known about it for 3 days and as a patient she has every right to know. '_I will tell her'_ I decided so lost in my thoughts no even realizing Robbie had started talking.

"Nope. Haven't seen her at all"

"Once my brother didn't see a squirrel while he was driving and he drove over it. But don't worry its ok now but it has one eye and I think what its looks like 3 half limbs." Cat randomly burst, baffling me to stretching my eyes wide out in query of why the heck she said that.

"Cat baby, maybe you don't have to say the first thing that comes to your mind." Rex requested.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!"

"That perhaps before you speak, you should think if is going to be annoying or not. " Rex stated being very straight forward.

"Yeah man, just before you speak I think maybe this time she will say something not ridiculous but you always prove me wrong." Andre included making cat react even worse.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN! WHY ARE YOU ALL PICKING ON."

"He means what he said and no one is picking on you, Cat." Tori calmly explained smoothing her shoulder.

"Oh ok!" Cat said as if nothing had happened.

I overall in this situation was thinking where the hell was I stuck and why?

"If you're looking for Jade then ask Sinjin the stalker. He knows Jades every move." Robbie told me.

"Yeah when he and you stalk people it's okay when I do it I get punished with a long lecture talk by Robbie" Rex protested.

"Wait did he say he and you!" Cat exclaimed, not appalling me as if was quite normal for Robbie and what more could you expect from him, he was very desperate.

"What! I...d-don't! Rex doesn't know what he is talking about!" Robbie lied, blushing into the darkest red ever seen and looking very feminine.

I wondered whose personal space he intrudes and it was not long before I figured out.

"Yes you do! You were hiding under Tori's bush yesterday! Did you remember or should I get Burf for evidence." Rex spat before Robbie shut his mouth.

"What the heck! I told you not to! I thought you stopped months ago. Errrrr. And oh my god Burf is with you too!" Tori screeched, exceedingly exasperated!

"And he also saw Trina dancing to Call me maybe" Rex added pushing my buttons.

"You WHAT!" I shrieked.

"Calm down Trino!" Rex said.

"What did you say Trino? Why my name is Trina."I asked dazzled, with a puzzled look on my face.

I was so infuriated that I didn't comprehend that fact that it was time to go class. My year was supposed to be with Tori's year for a while so they could see what 'good role models' are and could teach them our knowledge, in other words we were being teacher's assistants because they were lazy.

"Yay! Sikowitz's class!" Cat hopped along saying. She like all of us she loved Sikowitz's class he was weird but entertaining.

"Come in. Come in. Hey Trino have you seen Jade she was suppose to be practising for her performance at 7 for the Star Show but she isn't here!" Sikowitz asked as I was the first one inside.

"No I haven't seen her!" I answered putting my hand on my head. I was now exceptionally worried now that I know no one has seen Jade. Then something hit me. "Wait did you call Trino! AHHHH! My name it Trinaaaa!"

"Calm down Trino!"Cat cooed, as she entered the class with everyone eles following behind her.

"No I not going to calm down. No one has seen Jade and she is roaming around the school care-free. Plus she has c.." I realized that no one knew that she had cancer so I have to improvise on the spot. "...She has an uncontrollable temper which can rip people's heads off. " I truly wished that it was believable. " And what! Why is everyone calling me Trino!

"Sit down Trino." Sikowitz said. I ignored him for saying my name wrong this time and sat down.

"Why are you so worried about Jade she is perfectly capable of handling herself" Tori enquired.

"I'm sorry it's just that..." I started.

"Wait did Trino just say sorry? Does Trino have a soft side? Dang man, staying with us has changed you." Andre commented interrupting my explanation.

"Shut up you nub" I responded.

"And she's back" Andre muttered but still clear enough for me to understand.

"Oh ok Cat get up on stage and pick 4 people" Sikowitz said to Cat, trying to start our lesson.

"Kay! Yay! OMG that rhymes! I should be a rhymist!" Cat exclaimed, jumping up and down. She was a filled with joy and innocence.

"Cat there is no such word as rhymist unfortunately." Robbie frowned.

"Oh" Cat giggled playing with her bright red hair for a while and not moving on.

"Cat "! I said.

"What!"

"Pick 4 people!" I explained to her.

"Oh yeah," she chuckled then continued. "Um... Robbie, Tori, Andre and Beck."

Along with Tori and Andre, Robbie hopped along just overly excited about the fact that he was chosen as it's a moment of the blue.

"Wait, where is Beck?" Tori wondered along with most of us.

"Man everyone is missing told you we should have gone to see the Northbridge girls today." Rex whinged.

"I can join you guys!" I offered trying to lighten the perplexed atmosphere.

"NOOO!" Everyone screamed at me in their loudest voices.

"Ok guys, if that's how you want it to be!" I replied, slightly annoyed on the fact that no one wanted me in their group. "Please!" I offered again wishing for them to say yes.

"NOOO!" Everyone repeated, making me irritated and fuming with anger to extremes.

"Ganks!" I irritatingly countered with power.

But then it struck to me that something could be catastrophically wrong because both Beck and Jade were missing.

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*******PLEASE READ! VERY IMPORTANT!*******

**I know you are probably wondering why I writing Trina's POV. While it suppose to be in Tori's but I don't like giving her credit for everything so I chose Trina sorry if she seems OOC but I think this is her real side! Anyway it is going to start getting more interesting this is just the start!**

**Also would you guys like a new character in the story that kinda helps jade as she is sort of like her. Please tell me so I know if I should include her or not. You can review or PM me about it!**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Please Review!**

**Also Follow me on twitter Het_Shah_ for some updates and if you have any questions you can ask me!**

**Love you all!**

**xxx**


	3. RED

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

**Hiiii Everyone!**

**This chapter has the lyrics of Red by Taylor Swift because it fit the situation perfectly! If you haven't heard it then please do, I love it so much !**

**Reviewers get a preview of the next chapter!**

**So please review!**

**Please!**

**Love you all! X**

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**_Chapter 2: RED_**

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Jade's POV

I strolled across the empty streets through the howling winds, far away from Hollywood and into a dreary and dull atmosphere. Carefully sauntering past the lifeless trees, I scanned to find the hefty pitch black gate. It stood there camouflaged with the very blending environment. The 'Dark Night Cemetery 'gate as it was written right in the middle it, was decorated with bulky wings of angels, they gave the entry a dramatic sweeping height while I opened the rustling gates of the barren and mystifying place. Eeriness and creepiness lurked around each corner of the sinister place as the disturbing atmosphere became the fascination.

_'Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street'_

I could feel death welcoming me breathe by breath. With my intense sapphire blue, crystal eyes I glanced towards the mausoleum stones on the bitter ground making me feel homely. The graveyard was the only place I could feel calm and safe, even though it may be unusual it was true. For me the Janitors closet was the next best thing. I was in it through break and period 1 and 2 but now I needed a new place, a place to fit in. Before I would always go to Beck's RV where I could feel safe and worry-free wrapped and locked up in his arms. Just his warm embrace would be smoothening but now...

_'Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you'_

A rush of wind blew bitterly, chilling me as I gazed into the dark clouds blotting out the full moon letting my feelings overcome my thoughts; well in reality I let Beck overcome my thoughts. All I could really think about was all the times spent with Beck and how he was the only one who could calm me down. I flooded myself with the thousand memories of him. Each remembrance created a spark in me that flew out bringing a glow out of me. A smile lit up my face taking in on those delightful moments but when the centuries old cemetery was casted into inky darkness and lightening flashed with crashes of thuds, reality struck.

_'Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes'_

I hurried along to a large swing while a fresh chill ran anew along my spine; I sat depressed and downhearted regretting each movement used up with him. Feeling used and worn, I killed myself for letting Beck in and let him make me feel special when really it was lies. It was a stab in the heart realising what a waste I had become. I knew how much I had lost. All my hurt and wounded feelings gathered together creating rage and furry causing me to thump the bench producing a large crack, that I couldn't care less about, beside me. Physical agony jerked up my hand to my arm not affecting me anymore than the crack.

_'Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong'_

_'Jade, you can do it. Just keep it all in like you have all this time. Today at the Star Show you are going to express all your feelings and let him go forever. As they say 'If you love someone set them free and if they love you they will come back' but I knew he wasn't going to come back. Even if he did there was no place in my heart for him. Snap out of your dreams Jade, he means **nothing** to you and you mean **nothing** to him'_ I thought trying my best to convince myself some lies.

_'Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go'_

In reality he meant everything to me. Truly neither did I care what anyone says nor did, I just need him. I knew I just could not let him go like that but I had to try and give everything I had. That is why I decided to do the Star Show, so I could let my feelings out of me but I knew as much as strong I try to be and hard I try, I knew this was a fight I was going to lose.

_'Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met'_

Everything in my brain just clogged up. Like a permanent marker there was no way to wipe it away. All the good and bad things were buried in; my only wish right now was to remove and destroy everything and take the suffering and distress away. I wanted to bring back everything that had vanished. I started to realise what a misery I was in and how I was just shattering in to pieces. All the doors were locked with no way out. There was no solution to this dilemma.

_'But moving on from him is impossible__  
When I still see it all in my head'_

I wish I could put myself out of this melancholies and miseries. It was just too much for me to handle. I knew that I was suppose to be a tough, cruel and mean girl but I still was sensitive and had exceptionally passionate feelings for Beck. He was my soft spot and as much as I tried to deny it, I knew it too. I needed a way out of this entire tremendously horrid situation. All the hurting had to be taken away. The only way out for me was... _suicide._

_ 'Burning red' _

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**Hope you liked the lyrics! **

**Don't worry this is not going to turn into Jade suicides sort of thing but it is quite important for a while!**

**Please Review! If you do I will PM you some of the next chapter!**

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**LOVE! x**


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